Divorce can make you emotional, especially after being with someone for a long time. When a relationship ends, it can be difficult to adjust to your new life without your partner. Between the divorce process, you might even think about how to be happy. The fact is, a happier life after a divorce is possible! Just because you’re single now doesn’t mean all the doors to happiness are closed. Read on to find out how to reclaim your life and find happiness after a divorce.
HealthShots spoke to Gurugram-based clinical psychologist Aishwarya Raj, who shared how women can move on and easily find happiness after divorce.
It’s obvious that while marriages may look the same on paper, their inner workings are tangled, complex, and impossible to parse. People go through different stages of grief or bereavement. So, the time it takes for a woman to move on after a divorce varies. The first six months after separation are often the time when the emotional acuity of this period peaks, explains the expert. However, the grieving process can take up to two years.
How to move on after a divorce?
1. Allow yourself to cry and cry
Even if you wanted a divorce, mourning the life and way of life you lost is only normal at the end of a marriage. Usually it takes about half the time you were in a relationship for you to truly grieve the loss. Let go gradually, suggests Raj.
2. Be kind to yourself
It’s crucial to keep things in perspective, especially when trying to figure out how to handle divorce. If your marriage has ended and you feel guilty or ashamed, remember that relationships require two people to start and two to end.
3. Rely on your family and friends
Count on your close family and friends to talk about how you feel. It may be a good idea to spend time with them. When people are hurt, they may act impulsively. So having friends and family can keep you grounded.
4. Embrace your celibacy
Celebrate the moment when you come out of the gloom of divorce. If you can afford it, go on a trip with your girlfriends, your children, or simply go solo (benefits of solo travel). Divorce is a process of passing through and emerging from the other side, says Raj. A reflection on this celibacy means that you are moving forward in your new life.
5. Learn to manage your money
Know about financial issues right away, even if you paid the bills while you were married. Managing your finances well is essential to regaining a sense of control.
6. Rebuild your image
Losing your partner can cause you to doubt your identity if you have been halfway through a relationship. The “we” no longer exists, so you have to connect with your own identity. Start by making a list of your positive traits that are distinct from your former role as a wife or partner. Think about your best qualities and distinguishing features, when you are most effective, and what aspects of yourself you value. Thinking about these could help you start the next chapter of your life.
7. Create a wishlist
Yes, divorce leaves a void, but it also gives you the opportunity to resurrect old (and new) passions that you put on the back burner when you were married. No matter how successful a relationship is, we always have to let go of a part of ourselves. You’re the center of attention right now, so think about what you hope to accomplish before you die. We have seen that women generally go from divorce to a successful life. They start a career, travel, build and renovate their houses and finish their studies.
8. Refrain from arguing with your spouse or ex-spouse
Although it may seem obvious, it can be hard to break away from long-standing behaviors. While it can be difficult, especially if you’re divorcing a narcissist, remember that confrontation is unlikely to benefit either of you right now. Take a deep breath, leave the situation when you need to, and most importantly, don’t let your ex stir up trouble in your life.
9. Be aware of the distinction between a natural response to a breakup and depression.
After a breakup, the grief can feel incapacitating, but eventually the angst starts to fade, the expert says. You begin to move forward gradually, day by day. However, if you don’t feel like you’re moving on, you may be depressed (how to keep your mental health in check after a divorce).
10. Get help from an expert
The real treasures are friends who will let you cry on their shoulders and sleep on their couch when you can’t stand being alone. However, speaking with a therapist or mentor is best for seeking advice on how to start your new life. As you seek divorce therapy, you may discover new approaches to the process. Therapists can help you identify problematic thought patterns and change them. You can learn to handle divorce with grace and newfound insight by working with the right therapist.
